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    Tuesday, July 28, 2009
    Do Now: DRESS it Up!

    Turn up the heat with a sexy sundress in a graphical print like this bold saucy number Chrisette Michelle is wearing...


    Let them eat cake! Or not.

    I just had a birthday. Valiantly stood my ground in the face of the great equalizer... Cake.

    As soon as I saw the thing (I didn't order it), I made a quick resolution to end my impending yummy torture at just two bites, and actually succeeded. Yay! It wasn't easy, let me tell ya.

    Now, I love cake as much as the next gal (and probably a bit more, because I live in NYC and let's be honest, it's pretty highly freakin' likely that the "next gal" will be a size 4, with a waist size equivalent of a pencil), but there ain't nuthin' in a cake that's even remotely diet friendly.

    It's a little known fact that the S in Dessert actually stands for S&M ( as in sado-masochistic). Yep, dessert is right up there next to the nipple clamps and the butt flogger.

    Why do we use cake to celebrate birthday's anyway? Why must we do the S&M? Sure, it might be fun to get smacked on the bottom every now and then, but you're still going to end up with a pretty sore, red ass. I hate to channel my inner skinny bitch here, but don't folks realize that eating cake will only add an extra digit to an already zip code-large ass? ESPECIALLY, a massive slice of chocolate cake (about the size of Texas), with chocolate frosting and (as if that weren't enough), chocolate chips sprinkled on the top and a f$#@-ing hefty heap of whipped cream on the side.

    I swear, if there were a twelve step program for being addicted to chocolate I would be in it. If there were a medal of valor for bravery in face of death by dessert, I should have it.

    *Sigh*. I'd better stop now, as I'm making myself hungry again. Really, it's not fair, but as they say " all things in moderation".

    Only, be sure to leave the leftovers for sanitation. Or charity...whatever works best for you. ;)

    image courtesy of

    Last weight recorded: 282
    Pounds lost: -5
    New weight recorded: 278

    Labels: ,

    Friday, July 17, 2009
    Exercise Made Easy

    After becoming saddled with this ITBS injury, I had to find a way to keep moving without overworking my joints. Aqua-jogging is a great way to rev up your engine whether your injured or not. Plus, it's perfect for full figured ladies like ourselves because it's virtually no impact. In the water your body only weighs 20% of what it would weigh on land, so you don't get tuckered out as quickly. You can try shallow water jogging or deep water jogging with floatation equipment. I prefer deep water jogging myself because it really ups the resistance. Don't worry, you'll still end up burning as many calories as you would had you been jogging on land-- and in the same amount of time. You can set your own pace, and move as fast or slowly as you want to. In deep water jogging, the resistance of the water really helps you get your heart rate up, albeit comfortably.

    The best part? No sweaty, sticky clothes!

    The hardest part? Balance. It's a little tricky with the deep water belt at first, but you'll get the hang of it with a little patience.

    Here's my water jogging routine:

    10 minute warm up lap - freestyle (or breaststroke, backstroke--whichever your prefer)
    45 minutes aqua jog ( 1-2 minute wadding rest intervals every 15 minutes)
    10 minute cool down - free swim

    Last weight recorded: 285
    Pounds lost: -3
    New weight recorded: 282


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