Missing Him...

It's been a pretty tough few hours. I guess breakups are always hard to do. None more harder than when you still love the person and didn't want to breakup in the first place.
My ex was a self-confessed jerk. He put me through alot while we were "together". I don't want him back, because I know he'd only hurt me. Love is not supposed to hurt so often.

I just miss the good times I guess. I haven't forgotten how deeply I loved him, I don't know that I ever will. He was my first requited love. He brought so much joy to my life. I miss his sense of humor and his goofy laugh, his gentility, even his charm. I miss sitting up talking with him for hours on end about everything and nothing. I miss making plans together, singing songs together, waking up to the sound of his voice. I miss the way that same voice made him sound like a little boy when he was about to fall asleep.

There are so many things I miss and remember about how he made me feel. Sometimes I wish he felt the same, but I realize that would never change anything. Wishing cannot repair broken trust or mend broken hearts.